4 YEAR OLD WOW

Jake went on his first plane ride ever on Thursday. Just he and I, on a trip to hang with the papas and grandmas and to build a tree house for a friend (more on that in my next post).

As for first plane trips, when you're four, all firsts are pretty unique anyway. But an airport, I discovered, is not a location where planes live, it evidently is the birthplace of questions.

• Dad, why do we have to take our shoes off?
• Do I put my bag on this thing too?
• Can I put my shoes back on now?
• Dad, when do we get on our plane?
• Is it time now?
• Can we sit by the window?
  
• Dad, when will our plane blast off?
• Why are we going backwards?
  
• What is that big button for?
• Hey Dad, look, there's shades on the window. Did you know that?
• What does prohibit mean?
• Will this plane have little tables like the last one? Like on the seat in front of me? And that little thing you move to make it come down? Will they have lights and air and stuff?
  
• Who are those people? How come that lady is going to sit there?
  
• When can I take off my seat belt?
• Are we still going up?
• Are we almost there?
• Are we going to land in the water?
  
• Can you get my backpack down there?

Seeing the world of air flight through the eyes of a four year old was fun. I found out online that before the plane takes off, you can go in the cockpit. So, Jake got to meet the pilot and sit in his seat. But, I had 2 observations through the eyes of Jake as I re-experienced the world of flight from a different vantage point.

#1. LIFE IS A LOT LIKE A 4 YEAR OLD'S VIEW OUT A PLANE WINDOW.

When you're four, you can't see over the seat in front of you. You can't see behind you. All you know is that your Dad is with you and there is stuff out the window. It requires some faith to believe that the plane is actually going where they say it is. When Jake got off the plane, he had so little perspective on what we did that when he saw the gangway in Oakland he asked me if this was a different airport from the one we left. As far as he was concerned. We got in a plane. The scenery changed out the window, and for all he knew, we could have gone in a big circle and landed right back where we started from.

Life is like that. No matter how much you think you know... it's pretty much only the view out the side window of history. Most of the past is unknown; as is the future. We adults can get a fairly presumptuous view of ourselves and reality. Most of what we "know" however is very little of what is "known" to God.

#2. TRAGICALLY, I HAVE TO WORK TO KEEP WHAT COMES NATURAL AT 4. IT'S CALLED "WOW".

Once our plane "blasted off" according to Jake, we went like straight up. And here in San Diego the sun was up, but "may gray" has come a day or two early and the entire shoreline is blanketed in clouds. (May and June are not the best months to visit SD if you're planning on baking in the sun on the beach.) So anyway, not long after we left the ground, we found ourselves in the clouds. This, only lasts a few seconds. During which time I told Jake the white fog we could see meant we were in a cloud and in a minute we'd be on top of them. This was a crazy thought for Jake... to be on top of the clouds. But as soon as we broke through, we saw the most amazing sight.... clouds as far as the eye can see and the bright sun bouncing off their pillow like shapes. Jake only said one thing. Really loud.

'WOOOOOOOOW"

This is why:

At this moment, I realized why 4 year olds were the ones Jesus loved. I know why we must become like children. It's cuz they see God more. It's not because they are too naive to know better. It's because as adults we are too distracted. There's like 150 adults on our plane, most of whom missed the scene all together. They're thinking things like:

• "Um, please, I put my coat here for a reason, please don't sit here."
  
• "Can we hurry up and get to cruising altitude so I can turn on my electronic devise."
  
• "My window shade is down for a reason. I'm going to sleep."
  
• "I have my ear phones on and my nose in a magazine for a reason. Please don't talk to me".

Jake is not thinking any of this. He's got his head peering out the window and his eyes are taking in the Glory of God's Creation. We miss it most of the time. 2 days later, while almost done with our tree house project, I was standing at the entrance with Mark when I found myself eye-to-eye with a robin, some 30 feet up in a tree. I pointed to Mark and said, "WOW". It's moments like those that I miss all the time.

I think it's sad to live a "wowless" life. I think I sadly, all too often, forget to say "wow". I say it on vacation in the Caribbean while watching the sun set or eating an amazing meal or taking in the view of some tropical jungle. I say it at church sometimes. But daily, in my "normal" life, I find I have to force myself to not gravitate to the task at hand, missing the presence of the Lord. Missing the amazing beauty of creation. It's all around. It's declaring "WOW".

So, thanks God. Thanks for the "WOOOOOOW" filled reminders of 4 year old eyes, still too amazed by the wonder of our world to be bored by it's daily repetition.

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JAKE WEEK

Well, being the youngest of 3 boys has it's set backs. Jake has seen me go to all his brothers field trips, so he was super excited that I was coming with him today to finally go on one with him. His pre-school went to the San Diego Zoo today.

But that's only the start of "Jake Week". On Thursday I'm flying to Northern California to help a friend build a massive "tree house/guest room" with a rope bridge from the house to a "deck" with french doors and a roof and everything, way up in their tree. It's going to be tons of fun.

But, after talking it over with Shannon, at the last minute I decided to take Jake with me. So, he and I will get some "first time on a plane flight" bonding in. Then he's spending Thursday with Grandma Cheryl, Friday with Papa Ken, and Saturday with Grandma Karen. He'll spend the nights/evenings with me. He's SOOO excited. He gets to go and his brothers do not. He thinks he's KING!

Fun Times. Here's a picture collage of our trip to the zoo today.

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3 CHEERS FOR CANON

Last weekend, while in the desert, my canon powershot sd400 camera was in my pocket on the last day. I'm still not sure how, but sometime Sunday morning it evidently got hit. When I went to go take our group photo, I could not use the LCD to take the shot because it was broken. I was bummed. I really enjoy this camera and just bought a waterproof case for underwater shots and it's no longer in production.

So, when I got home, I surfed the web a little and found some info. I called Canon and they said it was $107 and explained to me the process to get it back in 2 weeks.

Since the replacement on a new camera was considerably more than that, I decided to send it in. I next day aired it to them on last Monday. Upon arrival, they said they would examine it and call me with a specific quote. However, I did not hear back all week.... so on Friday, I called to see what was up.

That's when I found out the news. They said they repaired it for FREE!!!! Go figure. I waited to post about it until I saw it with my own 2 eyes. And, it arrived in the mail today. One week to the day later.

Here's what the paperwork said: "We have examined your equipment for the service you requested.... As part of Canon's commitment to its customers, you can be assured that your equipment has been returned to Factory Specifications.... cost $0. Shipping. $0"

This is double amazing because I bought it "nearly new" almost a year ago off ebay. I don't even have a factory receipt or purchase date or anything. They repaired it for free, no questions asked on an item their technician's paperwork says "the display panel had suffered some kind of shock damage and the LCD panel was cracked." They don't even claim it was a product defect and I told them on the phone, that I thought I had cracked it somehow.... but I couldn't say how.

GO FIGURE. WOW. THANKS CANON. YOU WON A LOYAL CUSTOMER.

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DESERT EXPLOSIONS

One of the men/dads that went with us to the Desert is also a graphic designer for guns and ammo magazine I think. Or something like that. Anyway- last year and this year he handled all the safety with regards to shooting clay pigeons and such. Well, he also made some videos for us.

This year, he brought a very expensive video camera and made a flashback video of all the fire and explosions on this trip. From the video, it looks like all we did was blow stuff up, chuck rocks, and act like pyromaniacs with weapons.... (um, sorta guilty of that) but there was way more to this trip than that.. but you'll have to trust me on that one. Especially since, the only spoken words in this entire 4 minute clip are mine. And I quote: "I got one more bullet, where do you want it."

I'll probably loose my job in San Diego and have 4 job offers in Arkansas as a result of this... but here it is on the glorious u-tube.

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POTENTIAL FEAR

Well, tonight at church, our teaching pastor, Ed Noble, hit on my greatest fear with this quote:

"God doesn't guarantee that you're going to live up to your potential. Many will live with, and even die with, tons of potential left over"

That's my greatest fear. Not an early death, but a pointless life. A life spent consumed by stuff that doesn't matter. A life spent missing the point.

I believe in potential. I believe in it to the point that it is one of the main reasons I do youth ministry. I believe in the potential of young people. I believe they have a shot at living up to it when they reorient themselves toward their Creator, thus irreversibly change themselves and countless others around them. However, I also believe that most of what a young life is capable of, sadly goes untapped, and I want to challenge them to let God fill that potential to overflow.

But perhaps, one reason that I want so bad for students to tap into their God given potential, is that I personally fear that I might leave so much untapped in my own life.

I fear that I might:

• Live in a nice house, and miss God's bigger plan for my financial resources.


• Have a happy marriage, and miss the joy of an truly intimate one.


• Settle for raising my boys, and miss the chance to journey with them to manhood.


• Do ministry that pleases people, and miss the risks that please God.


• Exchange serving at church, for truly doing life with the Holy Spirit as my guide.


• Live with contentment, and miss the peace that surpasses understanding.


• Operate like a consumer, when Jesus wanted me to be a redeemer.


• Live a full and busy life, and miss the fulfilling and simple life of a one who is fully devoted to God.

I know God's grace will cover all my shortfalls. I know that. I'm counting on that. I believe that.

But deep down... really deep down... I'd like to minimize what God has to cover up with grace due to my sins of omission. I fear that I might miss the BEST God desired for me to experience, because I was distracted by the "good" of our world instead. I fear even more that the mirror will lie to me. That I'll miss it because I couldn't (or wouldn't) see it, and as a result, my hindsight will be filled with regret, instead of rejoicing.

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CROWDER SAYS "HURRY"

Hurry! Before it's too late.

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DESERT BONDING

This last weekend I took our high school men to the desert. 22 high school guys. 6 adults.



Here's the highlights and some mo pics:

• FOOD: We ate like kings: the notable taste bud explorations were: marinated teriyaki tri-tip steak and baked potatoes for dinner the first night. Breakfast burritos the next morning. Homemade beef/vegetable stew in bread bowls for dinner the second night. And we capped it off with peach cobbler made in a dutch oven and topped with crushed granola and bagels for our last breakfast. Oh.... that was some good grub.

• CONVERSATIONS: got to have some good talks with a few of these young men. Some good one-on-one times. Some good group discussions. We examined some principles from God's word and a book by Brennan Manning called "Posers, Fakers, and Wannabes". It's a youth version of his previously released book called "Abba's Child". It was great. My favorite memory of the weekend was a Saturday night talk in a canyon where we hiked in some wood and then had a discussion on a rocky hillside about being secure in the fact that God likes us and that we don't need to impress him or one another. We talked about how God we need to be real, secure, and devoted men in 3 key relationships: (1) with God. (2) with ourselves, and (3) with others. It was a great conversation. The Holy Spirit was clearly there.
  

• EXPLOSIONS: Yes we shot clay pigeons and such. But I'm talking fire explosions. Last year, our students discovered that a can of Axe deodorant makes a really big explosion. Like blow embers and wood from your camp fire a good 30 feet in all directions kinda explosion. So this year, we controlled things with 2 fire zones. One was a "bonfire" zone where you could hang and roast marshmallows and junk, and the other was an adult supervised "bombfire" zone where we set HUGE raging fires lite by gasoline trails. The students brought fire works and tons of axe deodorant. I'll post a picture of what it does to the can in a future post. My camera is in the shop after this trip. Somehow the LCD screen broke. No, I didn't shoot it. But, one night we did suspended gallon jugs of fuel over the fire using big boards and rope and then shot them open with a rifle from like 50 yards away. It was tons of fun. It was like a Hollywood set. Made me feel like a kid again.
  

• EXPERIMENTAL TEAM BUILDING: this year we went out to the desert earlier in the week and hid large pieces of wood that were pre-drilled and cut to make a trebuchet. We hid them in the desert a mile from camp in the rocks in 3 separate directions and groupings. We then divided up the students and gave them a gps unit and told them to go find it and bring it back. It was a good team building exercise. After all the groups were back, we debriefed the experience, assembled the pieces, and then used it to launch 5ish lb rocks some 200 yards. It was pretty amazing. Maybe not as amazing as when we set it on fire and burned it to the ground the last day in an inferno you could only set in the desert, but yeah.... lots and lots of good times here.
  

• GAIL FORCE WINDS: We had to eventually cut our trip a few hours short due to wind. I didn't sleep at all on Saturday night. At about 1 am the wind picked up to the point that it would come ripping through the canyon in like 5 minute intervals and you could hear it coming like a distant wave. Then it would arrive and it blew so hard in knocked stoves off tables. It was so intense that at one point, while I was attempting to sleep in my truck bed, I was startled by the fact that the wind actually picked my tailgate up and slammed it down. It was pretty amazing. I'm ok with skipping it in the future however.

• GIRL BONDING: So, we were supposed to get everyone up at 5am to watch the sunrise and have a worship experience on Sunday morning. Well, like I said, it was so ridiculously windy and cold that we decided to call it off. However, like 5 students still wanted to go. So, at like 5:15am they showed up at my truck. I told them, they had 2 options. #1. They could go by themselves to the top of the mountains and watch the sunrise and I'd have breakfast ready when they got back. OR #2. they could go back and get their sleeping bags and watch it from my truck bed and we'd have girl cuddle bonding. Cuz it was freaking cold and windy and I couldn't sleep and I wasn't getting out of my sleeping bag. Once presented with these 2 options, one of the students said, "I like option 2. No one else argued." We then cuddled like girls and watched the sunrise. Next year, I'm bringing foot pajamas, nail polish, and warm coco in a thermos.
  

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PLANTING HAPPINESS.

I thought you'd enjoy my flower planting shelf in my back yard. Isn't it lovely. My mom and I went shopping over my birthday weekend and we compiled quite the boquet don't you think. Plus, I got it all put on my drip system. Oh, how I love spring time planting. I'll be sure an update you as they bloom and grow to an amazing color explosion.

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CROWDER IS COMING TO TOWN

I now declare the month of October to be David Crowder Loveliness Month. He will be at the house of blues in downtown San Diego on Friday the 12th and I now possess tickets to see him. He will be playing at the National Youth Workers Convention the following weekend which I will also be at. Oh.. I shall get my fix and my heart will be inspired. I can feel it already.

Wanna join me?.... well you're in luck. If you happen to be one of the few people on the planet who read this blog, you can now have the inside scoop too. I'd normally feel guilty for letting their "secret" get out, but I'm not exactly an influential piece of the web-world.... so now, my blog comes with perks too!!!!! Ooh la la. The crowder band is now offering a limited number of pre-sale tickets to those avid fans who read their blog or frequent their website for a base fee- minus the surcharges and stuff to come with the "official national sales" in May. So as of yesterday, through April 30th... you can buy tickets to their remedy tour at venues around the country directly off their website. They are only playing at local "club" type scenes, so space will be really limited.

Oh, I know... this post feels like a Christmas gift. I felt it too. Share the love and join me in SD if ya want. We'll sing and laugh and cry out to God together. Maybe we can even grab a nice bit o grub in the gas lamp first.

Shalom.... and may your body and soul find it's way to a Crowder celebration near you.

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FOUL MOUTHS, SHOOTINGS, MEDIA, A RANT, AND A PRAYER

I'm already annoyed and the ridiculousness of the Don Imus ordeal. I think the guy said some stupid- Godless stuff. But I don't expect a media that doesn't claim to have anything to do with God to act Godly- especially a self proclaimed shock jock. Jesus didn't either. He saved his harshest comments for those who professed to follow God and did not. When he ran into someone who neither knew God nor behave as such, he offered them a meal and a lifestyle of change from the inside out. Should Don Imus lose his job? I guess that depends on what you're paying him to do?

That's my problem. I just wish the media and our culture would figure out which it wants. Do you want to represent morality and truth OR entertainment at all costs? We are desperately confused about this as a culture. The very same people who pay Imus to entertain us are the ones who used his words to fuel a boost in news entertainment dollars and then fired him.

This weeks time magazine puts the dichotomy this way: "But we also live in a culture in which racially and sexually edgy material is often — legitimately — considered brilliant comment, even art.... and So who gets to say "ho," in an age when Pimp My Ride is an innocent car show and It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp is an Oscar-winning song?" I have a friend who linked to a sports article that is worth the read from a black man's perspective on the Imus comments.

Our nation cannot accept the fact that it has created some serious schizophrenic bipolar behavioral norms in our ability to compartmentalize what is right and wrong based on situations... which is what one must do when they can't agree on who or what sets the standard for moral behavior.

It's just as ridiculous to me that a mother can pay to abort a child in our country but if you kill a mother who is pregnant, we will charge you with a double homicide. The president, who is the commander and chief of the armed forces can have an affair. However, if an Admiral in the Navy does, we fire him for adultery. We evidently cannot decide what is right or wrong.

I listened to a section of Adam Carolla's broadcast a few weeks ago while on my way to work and he was having people call in to share and laugh about their drunk driving stories. He consoled with, mostly men, who had driven drunk and then been arrested when the hit a cop car or were arrested in their driveway- which Adam claims should be some kind of safe, get out of jail free card zone. If you make it to your driveway safely, you evidently don't deserve to be arrested. After all, everyone drives drunk sometimes. So which is it, do we want a society of drunk drivers encouraged by Adam Corolla's funny humor bits, or do we want to mourn with children who lost their parents in a car accident caused by one of those same people? Evidently, we want to do both. BUT IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!!

Just to be fair, the American church- historically isn't much better at this. Many will shun you if you're gay but if you are obese becase you eat too much and worship food, we'll give you a platform at Pastors Conventions. You'll be kicked out for a "moral failure" but if you live so materialistically that you never give a dime to the church but faithfully drive your kids to it in the latest tricked out SUV and we'll welcome you with big arms and call you an Elder. You can be a woman who teaches people in other countries and does missions work, but you can't be a "pastor" in our local church.. AHHHHH!

I'm sure the blogging world is slammed with the tragedy today from Virginia Tech. I stayed home from work today to sleep after a weekend in the desert with our high school men and turned on the TV during lunch. However I quickly discovered it wasn't a day to eat lunch, but instead a day to fast and pray. What a horrible tragedy! As I brushed up against this history changing event today, I heard/read two things that saddened me and caused all the previous comments in this post to come rushing back to me and boil over.

1. I heard one commentator say that, "Tragically, we hold the corner on this kind of violence. Our national violent acts of this nature are most often carried out on school campuses." It got me thinking about how culture even defines how and what violence looks like. In Israel, if you get pissed off, you evidently strap a bomb to yourself and enter a bus or a crowded mall. In the US, you go to a school and start shooting. This too is a sad commentary on our society. I'm not sure that it's related in any way to the Imus debacle, but it's another indicator that our society is seriously hurting.



2. I have a former fraternity brother who is a pastor in the Seattle area. He linked to a blog he found while surfing the internet. It is a report from a student about his girlfriend who was shot in the hand during a german class this morning. When I looked at that post tonight, it had over 100 comments on it. But peppered through those comments are several requests from ABC, CNN, MTV, and numerous other news/entertainment agencies around the world requesting to contact the writer and his girlfriend for an interview. This says a lot about our culture too. We are hungry to be the ones to break the news on a tragedy. We want to mourn, but we also want to get the latest. We want to cast some blame for this tragedy on someone- anyone- but our own doorstep. No, I don't think the media created this tragedy. I just don't think the media can decide what it wants to be... our culture can't decide what we want them to be. Millions of us evidently want them to produce sexually explicit programming so we can mass consume it. Then we want them to come to the aid of hurting people on our behalf. Then we want them to go back to gathering the latest gossip so we can know how Britney looks today and what kind of underwear she is or is not wearing. Then we want to criticize then for selling us the crap we love to watch. THIS IS ASSININE. (spelled incorrectly on purpose)
   

SO, I pray:

Dear God help me to not feed the schizophrenic machine of media in our culture which I know is created by my own schizophrenic tendencies to bounce between honoring you and denying you.. Of this trend in my life I repent. Oh God, help me to be a fresh source of light to a dark world that needs to see and find you. May I be true in my devotion to you as evidenced in my parenting, my spending, my web surfing, my tv watching, my pastoral role, my words, my thoughts, and my actions. May they reflect a heart that seeks to serve you in every area. And please, please, please continue to bring heaven to earth. This place is a mess. We need Eden back. I need Eden back.

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JOURNEY UP

Well, our church is embarking on a new Journey. Yep.. we use that word a lot around here... at Journey Community Church. You can decide for yourself if that's cool or cheezzy. Regardless, we are going through the church's first real building project called JOURNEY UP.

Basically, we need to raise a grip of money in not too much time because we've all but been given an eviction notice. The land owners we rent from are, for the first time in the history of our church, not only willing to sell the shopping center to us- but committed to selling it. Good news is they turned down a few other offers for more money from those who would likely bulldose the place for apartments/condos. Bad news is we have to come up with the down payment by the end of May or we could be out on our keester in the coming years.

Anyway... the church made an announcement a couple weeks ago in the weekend and has a mailer going out soon and is passing out this huge packet this weekend and then the series of weekends that coordinate with the Journey Up start the last weekend of April and go 5 weekends to the end of May.

Here's a video they made to explain where we are at as a church and what's coming up. I, along with the other pastors on our support team, have like a 15 second slot... I look balding and old! 35- here I am.

SO....

• if you're the praying type- now is a good time to pray it up.



• if you're the giving type- now is a good time to give it up so we can keep doing Kingdom work here on this hill.

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35 today

Well, today marks a big day. Not sure why it's big, maybe it's not for most, but for me, turning 35 feels like another mile marker. It's like official adulthood or something. In your twenties you still get the "Oh, you're just a young buck" comments. At 35, no one lies to you about it anymore. I'm a dad, have a job, own a home, have bills to pay... I'm like 35. Wow.

Anyway... I set some goals for myself by the time I was 35... some I achieved. Some maybe I'll reach during the year of being 35. We'll see.

Monday night we went out to Benihana's for dinner. I love that place. This time was a little weird though... 2 reasons:

1. The chef's name was Armando and hew was from Mexico and he kept speaking spanish... it's a Japanese westawant! I wanted english with a Japenese accent from a guy who throws knives for fun. Oh well.

2. My mom bought dinner for me and my kids. This was only weird because I was sitting with my wife and 3 kids in a restaurant that I also sat in for my 16th birthday. Different location, but same deal. Only it was with my sister, my mom and dad, and my girlfriend. Um... that girlfriend is now my wife and the mother of my 3 boys.

It screamed... TIMES CHANGE!!!

anyway... I work with a lot of 16 year old students at my church, which made me think how times have truly changed.... I made this sample comparison chart of some meanderings in my head on this festive day. You'll have to click it to enlarge it to a readable size.

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POOPY SIGN

I'm on my way to seminary tonight and I walked through a parking garage in an pretty nice area of town and this sign is on the wall:



This causes 3 things in me.

#1. A huge urge to pee right here. No plans to pee in a parking garage. But the fact that this sign says I cannot causes me to think it might be a good idea. This probably means something.

#2. Makes me wonder: who decided to put this sign up and what events led to it? Like did this land lord have the whole flaming plate of manure on his porch too many times? How many times has this guy been peed on? Maybe he stood across the toilet from 2 brothers who peed on him too often when group peeing. (not that this happens at our house) Maybe he or she is from San Francisco in the Tenderloin... there, they have an entire department who does nothing but wash sidewalks in the homeless/drug heavy areas of town to keep the smell down. Yeah.. I'm full of urination trivia.

#3. I think I need this sign. I have no idea why, but I think I need it.

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AMAZING. SIMPLY AMAZING.

THIS makes me feel small. Makes me wonder about God even more. Makes me want to shut up cuz my problems seem infinitely small. Amazes me... that this Easter weekend we mourn and celebrate that God sent his son to this microscopic ball of dirt in the MASSIVE UNIVERSE to care for and love an infinitely smaller people who, most of the time.. live like this whole system should revolve around us.... instead of the Creator.

This WEBSITE is full of images and data that proves how wacked that self centered universe ideology truly is.

Makes my head hurt just thinking about it. Makes my faith stretch to believe I matter. Makes my heart wonder what heaven REALLY will be like and where it REALLY is...

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DATING/SEXUALITY Q AND A MORNING

This last Sunday in Encounter we had an all Q and A morning. We were finishing our dating/relationships/sexuality series that we do once a year for our high school students. This year it was called, "He loves me, she loves me not." It was the final of 4 weeks.

We had a grip of questions that were turned in on cards from the weeks before. I answered every one of them in a booklet we gave the students that morning which we encouraged them to read and use as a follow up bible study during the week. One of the few mornings where my outlines didn't fill the trash cans!!

I offered some of those same written thoughts- verbally- to hopefully spark some interest in them to read the whole thing later at home. Instead of a formal adult leader panel discussion up front on these same questions, we had leaders speak from their table where they were in the room to the entire group as Sarah and I facilitated the discussion. We were trying to engage their questions in a conversation with them. Not preach our dissertation to them. I think it worked.

I also interviewed a girl in our ministry who has been coming every week during this series who is 8 months pregnant. She's been on the fringes of our group for several years- in and out of small groups and such. You could have heard a pin drop. It was both hard to hear her story and a GREAT testimony to the grace of God for a young woman who is trying her best to turn around mistakes she says she's made and some that others have made around her that have HUGE consequences for her. I was SO proud of her. I was so PROUD of our students for clapping in support of her keeping this baby and staying in youth group. It took GIANT guts to share what she shared and in her own words- no notes- just her heart, which allowed me to share mine with our group and remind all of us to create and embody a place where ALL students are welcome to seek Jesus and embraced here by God's people.

It was a day where I was proud to be a youth pastor. I felt like we touched on real needs, challenged students to consider where God can meet them, and let their voices be heard.

Here's the questions they asked. They speak volumes about the world teens live in today. We broke them up into 3 categories: Relationships, Sexuality, and Christian dating. [If you want the answers I wrote to them... just post a comment with an e-mail or click on my profile and shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you a PDF of them... it's too much to post here (18- half page's worth). ]

RELATIONSHIPS

1. In the 7th and 8th grade my best friend ever was having an intense sexual relationship with a senior in high school. I was there for her through all the pain. Every night she would cry to me on the phone about their problems and how she loved him. I suffered a lot of pain through their relationship and I can imagine many people are going through or gone through this. How can you help out a friend who is going through this and help yourself?
2. Why do you think people cheat?
3. Best way to get over a guy/girl?
4. How do you stay proud to be single when all your friendships are in “relationships”
5. How is it that people don’t realize that relationships, at this point in our life, are just NOT NEEDED?

SEXUALITY

1. If we have already had sex, should we stay out of relationships till we’re married because we might be too tempted to have sex again. Only if I wanted to stop!
2. Is it true that it is harder to be pure when you’ve had sex before than it is when you’ve never had sex before? Why? -Curious.
3. How do you tell your homophobic grandma you’re bi or maybe homosexual? This may not go with the lesson, but I would like help.
4. I’m a girl. So is it immoral to want to have sex, and possibly fall in love with another girl?
5. If I was raped when I was 14, am I still a virgin?
6. If you are raped and get pregnant, is it ok to get an abortion?
7. After being raped, I have never really gotten the help I need. What are some things I could do to overcome this pain, anger, and frustration?
8. How far is too far?
9. If you say no to sex, is it wrong to say yes to other things?

CHRISTIAN DATING QUESTIONS

1. What does equally yoked mean? And when do you know two people are? The person I’m dating became a Christian a couple of months ago. We both have prayed about dating and we both didn’t get clear answers.
2. When or how do you know you are equally yoked? I find it hard to be serious and pray with my girlfriend but we are fine praying alone about whatever… any advice?
3. Why is sexuality in our society so twisted by the media?
4. I always hear the bible verse, “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” How do I know when it desires?
5. How do you glorify God while dating?

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