Um.. I think I need a digital video recorder. The stress level of my life in commercials of the season premiere of 24 has had me on edge for 3 days straight... I cannot believe I'm so consumed by this stinkin' tv show. I have a class on Monday nights so I now have to tape it anyway. I'm sure there's some deep spiritual lesson in this... I mean I've never followed any of the reality TV shows- not really sure why- just haven't... but this stinkin show reached out of the TV and grabbed me- there must be some deep subliminal message for my stress hungry twisted soul evidently. I was so amped in the monday night 2 hour show that I had to cut up foam for my kids bean bags in the show so I wouldn't pull out my hair instead. I think I need prayer, counseling, and a digital video recorder.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Thursday, January 12, 2006
So I was reading my Bible the other day and my Bible in a year program had me read Genesis 5. It's the lineage of Adam to Noah. In it, it reads like this: so-and-so lived a bunch of years (like over a hundred) then he had a son named such-and-such. Then so and so lived for another bunch of years (like 500 or something) during which time he had "other sons an daughters" and then he dies. Then it tells the story of the son named "such and such" who is now a dad himself and his story is the same. He had one key kid and a bunch of others and then he lived for yatta yatta years... It goes on listing one key male figure in the lineage, his age and life span, and informing the reader that he had "other sons and daughters". I thought that if I was one of those kids, I'd probably have been one of the "other sons and daughters."
I have a friend in the office who said that he googled an old junior high band friend during christmas break. He said now he's some big wig drummer in Canada. He then suggested- sorta half in jest, half not- that people could determine their importance on the planet by the number of hits they get in google. So quietly, in the privacy of my own office- I secretely googled my name. My whole name. My half name. My name in yiddish. I even tried to find this blog on google. Um... it's official. I'm a no hit wonder. I'm a google "other sons and daughters". HA!!!
Ever feel like you don't matter? I've noticed this feeling come up in me a lot this year. I'm not sure entirely why, but God and I chat about purpose and meaning and value and what really matters in life more these days. I've decided on some things that don't matter and some things that do... Here's my list.
I do not. My kids do.
My stuff does not. What I do with it does.
My desires don't. Deciding on which ones to obey does.
My hair does not. If my wife likes it does.
Coffee does. Chai Tea does. Soda does not.
My weight does not. My health does.
My self worth in my eyes does not. My self worth in God's eyes does.
Having a new computer does not. Having a screen that fully works does.
Luxuries in my truck do not. If it starts when I turn the key does.
Being super pastor does not. Being super dad might.
Writing a book still does- for me.
Being the keynote speaker at some national event- not so much anymore. I'm good either way I think.
Being googleable does not. Being accessible to friends in need does.
My seminary grades do not. The piece of paper they get me evidently does.
Whether my seminary class is worth a benjamin and then some every week should matter- but it does not.
Whether I pony up a 100+ bucks a class does. Go figure.
um... this list is now going south fast in my frustrated seminary rant. My list now officially over.
So... I shall log off. Here's to the "other sons and daughters" of the world. May you and know that we don't matter to many on the planet. But take heart- you just might matter to the "least of these".... or at least take heart in this... you're in good company. Welcome to the land of the "googleless no hit wonders".