Hey friends and blog readers, I just wanted to make one final post on this blogger site and communicate to those of you who read might be reading this through an rss reader that this blog is moving.
I asked a friend of mine, Adam Mclane with Mclane Creative, to help me move, update, and fix my blog to make it more professional looking. I wanted people to be able to easily buy a book from me and to provide a way for people to contact me too. If you want a similar thing done, I'd highly recommend you go check out the services they offer. Super good stuff and Adam can do this stuff in his sleep.
Anyway, if you want to stay up to date on what I write, you'll want to re-subscribe with the the link on the new site. To do this, just redirect your browser and go to www.briancberry.com and hit the rss button on that home page.
That's all. See you there.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Hey friends and blog readers, I just wanted to make one final post on this blogger site and communicate to those of you who read might be reading this through an rss reader that this blog is moving.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Ecclesiastes 7:1–2 reads:
“A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.” (TNIV)
Every time I go to a funeral, I'm reminded that Solomon was right when he wrote those words. Every time I help my kids navigate a loss in a critical soccer game, I'm reminded that losers ponder their methods and rethink objectives, but winners just celebrate and toast the victory. Every time I make a mistake or suffer loss or struggle as a pastor, husband, or father.... I'm reminded that pain and hardship cause me to rethink stuff, but victory and ease cause me to coast through life. It just does.
CS Lewis put it like this in his book "the problem of pain". He writes, "Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
And that reality is no less true today than it was 3000 years ago when Solomon wrote it down or when CS Lewis echoed them in 1940. However, since the majority of my work is with high school students, most of them feel like death is a lifetime away (and I pray they are right). So they never give death or morning much thought. Not that their parents do either, but death and mourning are not popular subjects for teens.
However, the Biblical book of James reminds the reader that our lives are like a blip on the map of eternity and even a long 90-year life will be over before we know it. He warns: "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14)
To this end, I think one of my jobs as a youth pastor is remind teens that today should be lived in light of forever. I have a responsibility to challenge my students to consider the life they are living and the destiny they desire. I have a responsibility to live that way myself.
Just last Sunday I sat down with a young woman in our high school ministry who had asked to talk. She told me she was not happy with where she was at spiritually and that she wanted to make some changes. Rather than spend a lot of time focusing on how to help her do that... I spent the majority of our time reminding her that what she does today should be shaped by who she wants to be tomorrow.
When we know what we want said about us at our funeral... when we know what we want to be known for and to be all about... then-and-only-then do we have a solid filter through which to make our decisions. Youth ministry is not about giving students tools to navigate the stress of today. It is instead about helping them set a compass that will help them navigate all their days in a way that honors God.
Recently... I was reminded of these truths by two GREAT pastors on opposite ends of our country:
1. Louie Giglio, recently gave a sermon in Atlanta, GA that is beyond worth the time to listen to on this very subject. Seriously, it's so good you should go download it now and give yourself an hour of life that will remind you what you want all of life to be about. Get some earbuds and drown out the rest of the world for a few. You'll be so thankful you did.
Here it is under the title: From Here and Now to Now and Forever.
2. Britt Merrick is a pastor in the Santa Barbara, CA area whose 8 year old daughter, Daisy, just tragically died from a 3+ year battle against cancer. In that context, he gave a sermon a few days before Daisy's death that will rip your heart out. It will also, in no uncertain terms, remind you that while the day of morning is not chosen by any of us, is still the crucible through which life screams it's lessons and lives are forever transformed. This sermon is a video and might be the best 50 minutes you've spent in the last 50 days.
It is titled, "When Sparrows Fall" | and was given at Reality Santa Barbara
Friday, February 15, 2013
- He explores with insight why criticism can be so devastating to us. What is it about being criticized that can so quickly rob us of our joy, confidence, and self-worth? He gets inside us.
- He provides a path, a way of being, a sense of understanding, a life strategy—whatever you want to call it—along with practical tools to not only survive criticism and to pick your way through its minefield, but to reach a place where you are not just better equipped to survive but actually grow from it in both your personal life and ministry.
- He puts us on the spot. Brian provides questions for us to have to work through about ourselves. This is not an academic exercise but an opportunity for maturing. We are being discipled in an area of our life we can’t ignore. Brian calls us to look in the mirror.
- He offers truth, real-life situations, and authenticity. This is a nonsense-free zone where Brian helps us face real issues in real life.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
There's something inside of me that just hates mediocrity. I hate settling for less than the best. I hate the idea that I missed something better God had for me because I accepted the first thing someone offered me.
NO ONE in the tech world believes "It is what it is" should be our mantra. No it's not. And 10 years from now, we'll all be thanking some tech guru for not settling and for moving us to some new technology we now "can't believe we ever lived without" because they dared to dream and demand better.
Don't let him win. Fight normal and mediocre and acceptable and complacency with all you've got.
In case you still need more inspiration to ditch average stuff of life. Here's a elementary school kid with some genius for you.
"Don't stop believing in your dream, unless your dream is stupid. Then find a better Dream." Ha ha. This kid is awesome. "I was made for awesome"
Monday, February 11, 2013
This weekend my 10 year-old son came in and asked me if he could have a song added to the ipod he got for Christmas. I told him that depended on what it was. He said, "Thrift shop: the clean version".
So I went in search of the lyrics and to give it a listen. I went to itunes and noticed it was the number one single on their site. Immediately I knew my head had been under some kinda music rock and that this was all over the place.
I then went to youtube and watched the video. I won't link to it, but you can hit it up if you want.
Then I found this video of teens reactions to it. It's a little long- 7 minutes- but it's full of insight into student culture and the teens that I work with. Truly, it's a lesson in teenage cultural anthropology. If you work with teens, it's worth a listen and is essentially a "clean version" listen that bleeps stuff the song doesn't.
I'd even argue it's worth watching as a parent or small group leader with your teen(s) and discussing it. It's my plan for my weekly Wednesday morning one-on-one with my oldest son TJ this week. I think it sparks some really good discussion.
If you want a Bible passage that relates... try discussing James 2:1-10 along side of it.
Interestingly enough, about 50% of the song is something I think I would champion. In an ironic way (since it is making millions) the song makes an attempt to fly in the face of our consumerism culture and mocks those who have to have the latest fashions. One central theme is that it encourages frugality, re-sale shops, and the beauty of being unique. If the song wasn't said with such angst and laced with lazy profanity, it probably wouldn't be the hit it is, but it's interesting nonetheless.
Whatever and however you do it, if you're parenting and/or pastoring teens, I think it's a responsibility we all share to help teens interact with and critique culture, not just consume it. Failing to engage it on purpose won't make it better, it will only leave them to consume it by osmosis instead.
Thursday, February 07, 2013
My last post was about getting your group safely to the snow. So if you're thinking about taking your youth group the the slopes, check that first.
But once you've gotten them to the slopes, you're not done yet. Here's the details you'll need to know about taking a group of 20 or more to the ski slopes. My experience is that if you don't have at least 20 people on the slopes, you won't qualify for a group rate. But once you do, there's some stuff you should know.
Contact the ski resort that you're going to be using and ask to speak with group sales. They'll have their own office and staff dedicated to just that task. Tell them when you're coming and about how many you're bringing and they'll send you some stuff to get your trip going. Some of them have limits on how many groups can come on any given weekend and some have a requirement for how far in advance you need to contact them, so don't just get the info off the web and then wait till the last week to make this call.
MINIMIZE YOUR OPTIONS:
The ski slopes you're going to will likely have tons of things they offer. All kinds of rentals, lift tickets, lessons, package deals, etc. I never publicize them all. It just complicates stuff. You're a group coordinator, not a custom travel agent. I always give students only 3 options included as check boxes on the brochure. They simply check off the ones that apply to them and add them to the base cost of the trip.
- All Mountain Lift Ticket Only : I have my own gear
- All Mountain Lift Ticket and Snowboard Rental / Lesson Package
- All Mountain Lift Ticket and Ski Rental / Lesson Package
CHARGE YOUR LEADERS:
I never charge my adult volunteers for anything, but I do charge them for whatever this trip costs on the slopes. They pay for their own rental and lift tickets. The only exception to that is if I get enough students that the slopes gives us some free tickets. Then I share the love. I've never had anyone complain to me about this.
Getting your rental gear will be the biggest issue of this whole process. If you've never checked 20+ people in for gear rentals, READ THIS CAREFULLY! WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU WILL SAVE YOU TONS OF HEADACHES.
RENT AT HOME IF AT ALL POSSIBLE: In Nor Cal, we were on the slopes for 2 days and we told students to rent all their gear at home. Trust me, if you can pull this off, you will save yourself HOURS in lines and forms. Just have the students rent their gear and bring it. You will need masking tape and some sharpies to label gear however, because everyone's rental gear will look almost identical and no one will know whose is whose. So we just have a volunteer whose only job at check-in is putting masking tape on all boards/skis/ and each boot and then writing a last name with sharpie. Trust me, labeling stuff will be a miniscule detail compared to the MOUNTAINS of stuff you'll have to do to rent at the slopes.
IF YOU RENT AT THE SLOPES, EXPECT PAPERWORK. PAPERWORK. PAPERWORK. You're going to have lots of this. In our local resort, (Snow Summit in Big Bear, CA), everyone on the slopes needs a general waiver (regardless of if they rent or not) and a rental form filled out if they're renting. Some require a drivers license on every sheet. Some require a credit card number. There are lots of signatures.
In my case, since we only board one day and since we live in San Diego, it's cost prohibitive to rent local. So I had 28 students to check in. Each of them required 10 signatures on the rental form- not including the ones their parents had already signed before the trip. I become the "guardian" for the day and have to do 280 signatures. Yup. 280. Yikes. Just bring another volunteer with you and divide it up. It's gonna take some time to get through the rental process. Be patient.
GET THERE EARLY. I mean EARLY! Last weekend, I saw the line for rentals go over 100 people deep by 9:30am. In that case, your new students will MISS their lesson and your experienced students will miss hours on the slopes. Trust me, this process takes a while- especially for a group. So don't delay on getting to the slopes.
SHOES: oddly enough, shoes will be an issue. In the rental process, everyone has to get out of their shoes and into their boots and then onto the slopes. This will leave students asking, "Where do I put my shoes?" Last weekend, this meant 28 pairs of shoes that needed to be dealt with. I can't rent enough lockers for that and it's a pain to send them all to the car. So we bring black trash bags and have a volunteer collect all the shoes as they exit the rental office. Then we take the shoes and lock them up in the cars during the day. Then we return with the shoes at 3:30 pm to wait for students to arrive and return their gear/pick up their shoes.
DISCOVER THE PROCESS. I already outlined some of this, but the only way to fully do this is to ask LOTS OF QUESTIONS of your local slopes and even then, you'll probably miss some stuff until you do it once. Here's how it works at Snow Summit and what you might have to do at your slope of choice:
- Before you arrive:
- contact group sales and get paperwork sent to you.
- sign a group waiver and send it in with your reservation and payment at least 72 hours in advance.
- When you arrive:
- show up at the group rental office as close to opening as you can with all your individual group ticket waivers signed. (Snow Summit Group sales opens at 7:30am)
- pick up group tickets and make any last minute changes. (I always have some)
- pass out tickets to your students
- send the students with rentals to rental line (in my case, I don't bring the students to the slopes until 8:45am or so. But we're really close so while they're eating breakfast, I go to the slopes and get all the tickets and check everyone in through the initial line at the snowboard rental. Then I get the vouchers, give them to the students, and when they arrive, they go straight into the rental process and skip the LONG LINE for the pre-rental paperwork).
- Even then, I still have to sign paperwork for daaaaaayyyyyyzzzzz inside the rental shop till all the students have gear and rentals are complete
- send the newbees to their lesson
- get on the slopes and have fun.
LUNCH: Will cost you 5 million dollars and 3 hours in line if you buy it in the lodge. We always bring our own lunch and meet at the cars at a pre-determined time. In our case,we always meet at noon because the lessons are from 9:45-11:45 for the new kids. They then go straight to lunch and practice what they learned afterwards.
For lunch we use gallon ziplock bags and kids write their name on them, fill them with lunch stuff the night before. They then set them in a bin we take to the slopes. If you like hot meals, we have had a parent who was not on the slopes boil water and pour it into drink coolers and meet us at lunch in the parking lot. We used it for boiled hot dogs one year and for cup-o-noodle another.
If you try and meet in the lodge for lunch instead of the parking lot, here's 2 warnings: #1. Some lodges kick you out if you bring in outside food. #2. Finding or reserving room for your whole group is all but impossible and you'll end up frustrated. The parking lot is always a better meeting spot for a group. Plus, if your students leave their boards laying around, they risk getting them stolen. I lied, Warning #3: don't let them lean the boards against your vehicles. They will fall over and they will make awesome semi-circle and permanent scratches on your paint. Just simply set them on the ground with the waxed side up and it will all be fine.
MAXIMIZE YOUR TIME: Seize your lift lines and chair lift rides. So many epic conversations happen for me while just hanging out talking about life and faith and stuff. Seriously, it will be the highlight of your day. Challenge your leaders to seize those moments too. Avoid the temptation to pop in your ear buds and listen to your tunes.
NO ONE RIDES ALONE: remind your group to partner up. Spending the day on the slopes alone is horrible and the opposite of why you came as a group. Getting on the slopes first thing is always crazy. But after lunch, we try and do several runs with as many of us together as possible on some sort of medium difficulty run that most people can manage.
- FIRST AID BINDER: I always have a binder of everyone on the slopes with their permission slips inside. I then put a cover on the binder that has my name and cell phone number. Then I take it to first aid (every slope has a big first aid office that you should know where it is as well). I then explain that we have a group on the slopes, and leave the binder with them. If they need it, they have it. If they don't, which is my goal, then I just pick it up at the end of the day. (NOTE: write yourself a FAT reminder and tape it to your steering wheel or something. It's super easy to forget and leave all those permission slips in 1st Aid , especially if you didn't need them)
- RADIOS: The same radios you used for carpool are great for the slopes. I give one to a key leader in the lodge, a few to leaders on the slopes, and attach one to the first aid binder when I drop it off. I leave the 1st aid radio off, but if they turn it on, they can use that to get a hold of me if need be and my cell is not working.
- PLANT A VOLUNTEER IN THE LODGE: I always try and have a lodge sitter who is someone that students can find if they need help or that can be free to solve problems. Sometimes that's helping a student who is hurt, sometimes it's helping with lunches, sometimes it's just someone who a student can find who then can find me if needed. Mom's who don't want to ski are awesome for this job. Tell them to find a spot they love by a window, bring a good book, and you agree to buy them all the java they can drink :)
- INJURIES: I've had years with none. I've had stretches where someone got hurt every year. Just know that if you take a group to the slopes and you only have the bare minimum in adults to drive your students, if one of your students is hurt and needs someone to go to the hospital or the ambulance with them, you'll be stuck. Also, know that for legal reasons, the slopes will likely require any head injury to be given an ambulance ride to be checked out. So if you get a head injury in your group, you're going to need help- regardless of its severity or lack thereof. Bring some extra people (preferably a parent or two) "just in case" to help with this stuff if it comes up.
Well, there you have it. If you've never done this, it sounds like a lot. And I guess it is.
But like all great memories, this one is worth the effort. Dang I love snowboarding and while this stuff always cost me lots of energy, it's always so worth it. Rarely do I get thanked in youth ministry. After this trip, several students always do. Epic.
Monday, February 04, 2013
I love snow boarding. I love it. I also love that once a year, my job collides with this passion and I get to take high school students to the snow to experience the wonders of snow play together. I've been either going on or running this kind of trip for over 25 years and I always love it.
RENT THE BUS IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT: If you can afford the bus rental, I'd say do it. Minus the possible danger is getting the "keep it quiet as a mouse" bus driver from hell, the benefits of avoiding the potential hassle of chaining multiple vehicles yourself and putting drivers who are unfamiliar with certain conditions behind the wheel just might be worth it, if you can afford it.
RENT VANS: We can't afford the bus, so we rent 15 passenger vans and a cargo vehicle.
- In this case, buy the insurance. Just do it. Stress about something other than this. (side note: some credit cards do this for you if you charge the rental with their card. Also, if you have a corporate account like we do with Enterprise, then we negotiate it so that the insurance is always included in the rental)
- Get trusted drivers. This is not the retreat to take your college students and have them drive. Find some parents or older adults to drive cars on your retreat who are confident know how to drive in the possible snowy, icy, and wet conditions your trip might hold. Even if it's "sunny" during the day, driving home at night has risks of icy roads. This is a great place to get some dad's involved in your ministry. Ask them to drive!
- The "4x4" suburban that won't go into four wheel drive and now you don't have chains.
- The defroster doesn't work and now you can't see outside or drive safely.
- The battery is not well taken care of and you go to start it at the slopes and now it won't start and you need to buy a replacement at 4pm on Sunday night in the mountains.
- get the picture?
- They are relatively cheap: $80 a day was my last fee.
- They always have dual rear wheels, so they are easy to chain cuz you can drive the inside tire onto a block and then chain up the outside one.
- You never have to worry about someone stealing boards or gear at the slopes cuz it's easily lockable
- You don't care if it rains or snows.
- They are super easy to pack.
- They don't require long parking spaces like a truck and trailer.
- SIDE NOTE: We also pass out cards with all the leaders cell phone numbers to our adults on the trip before we leave so that in case for some reason, the radios aren't cutting it, they can call on a phone
GET CHAINS AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING THEM: you'll need snow chains in CA. Don't leave them in the church as you pack though (ha! maybe we did that once. maybe.) Anyway, some states you don't need them, but here in CA you do. Most places will even let you return your chains if they're unopened. I buy the size I need for the rental vans (I prefer cables actually), and then I return them if I don't use them. I've needed them enough times however, that now we just own the ones that fit a 15 passenger van. Beware though... do not assume all vehicles use the same size tire chains. Even a 12 passenger van is usually a different tire size than the 15. So get the right size!
- WARNING: if you ignored me and are sending drivers with their own vehicles/chains, you might want to triple check that they actually work on that vehicle and aren't just the ones they have laying around the garage. You also might want to check to make sure their "snow tires" that don't need chains actually have enough tread left to function well too.
- WARNING 1: installing your chains for you one thing, but if you have to buy the chains from them too, you're going to need to have a FAT wallet, cuz they're going to ream you for that mistake and smiling won't help you.
- WARNING 2: If you do it yourself, it's a cold, wet and dirty task. Bring a rain coat, work gloves, and appropriate shoes or you'll be a mess by the time you're done. If you do this in your nice ski coat, I promise you it won't be nice anymore after you run it all over your nasty mud/snow tires
- Plan your dinner stop in advance. Know when and where you're going to stop. Ideally it will be a place where you'll be within a reasonable dinner hour for your students but also close enough to your final destination where you can avoid the "pee" stop before you arrive.
- Never make your planned stop where there's only 1 or 2 places to eat. Of if you do, know that your dinner will need some serious extra time for people to get their food and eat. More options = more places = greater choices and faster service.