SOMETHING'S BROKEN

I'm not sure what just yet, but something's broken.

Maybe in me.

Maybe in my ministry.

Maybe both.

But it's clearly broken and I'm not sure how to fix it or even that there is one solution.   I know of some things that are broken that I can and should fix.  I know of other things that are broken that I think I could fix if someone holding that thing would just say, "Ok, I agree it's broken.  Let's fix it together."  But this thing that is broken is deeper than either of those.

I can't describe it or put my finger on "it", but I'm hunting.

Tonight I walked into my house and shannon and I unanimously said, "What is that smell?  Something is dead in here."  I'm not sure if a rat died in a wall or the milk is rotten in the fridge, but something is not right.   I have that same feeling about several other things right now.  "Something is dead in here."

I also checked my snail mail tonight.  Bills came and so did an advertisement for a conference I normally would not attend.  It features another pastor who I don't have a lot of respect for his methods or at times his message.  I actually hadn't heard his name in a while and then I read this conference ad and inside was this quote:

"In a recent and important book, Michael Horton has made a compelling case that the American church has been willingly taken captive by American culture and ideals including consumerism, pragmatism, self-sufficiency, individualism, positive thinking, personal prosperity, and nationalism.  As a result, we have pushed God aside and trivialized the faith.  Instead of the gospel, we proclaim a therapeutic and moralistic deism."  

I have not read this book and I don't know that they are right.

I don't know that they are wrong either.

I do know something is broken and I can't fix it with my hammer, my computer, or by myself.

I'm on a quest.