IT'S NOT EVERY DAY

(my cell rings. It's my wife)

Hey babe, how's your day going?

Fine. Thanks. What's up?

There's a baby duck in our backyard.

What?

There is a little duckling in our backyard. What should I do?

Um, I don't know. Catch it.

Then what am I going to do with it?

Eat it.

Brian!

Put it in a box and call someone.

Who am I gonna call?

I don't know, Seaworld? Take the duck down there and give it to them.'

I don't have time to drive to Seaworld.

........
(my office now floods with high school girls who overhear my conversation from across the hall)

I want the duck.

Yeah she wants a duck.

Let me ask my dad.... um... my dad says I can't have a duck because the dog will eat it.
............

Brian, this duck is cornered outside and like hiding in our backyard. I think Zeus has it scared.

..........
(coworker now enters the office)

Call project wild life. They'll come get the bird.

Who knows this kinda stuff? No wonder you work with junior high.

.....

(An hour later)

Ok, I called project wildlife. They said they'd call me back. But I have to go to Jakes t-ball game so I put the duck on the porch in a cardboard box with a towel to keep it warm. Any other ideas?

Give it some water?

How?

Um... like a dish or something.

They said they'd come by and look at it.

I said it was brown and yellow and fuzzy.

They said it sounded domestic and they don't take domestic birds.

I told them it wasn't yellow. I'm just kidding. It was just brown then.

......

(2 hours later)

The duck is gone.

What?

Yeah they took the duck and left me a brochure about project wildlife. Today I saved a duck.

Good for you babe. You win an award.

Thanks.

.......

it's not every day you save duck's life. (no, we have no photo proof. I was not home and my wife doesn't take pictures evidently)