HAPPY HALLOWEEN

From two army men and Harry Potter himself on their way to school.

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IT AIN'T THE BRADY BUNCH... BUT IT IS MY FAMILY

We asked students to make a list of statements about their family. They could be fun, tragic, positive, negative, anything. We passed out cards and gave them just take a few minutes in the service last week to describe their family.

We selected a bunch of them to use in a video piece which I'll post later, but here's the list of stuff they said in no particular order. It certainly proves family is a roller coaster and students need a safe place to be themselves. Godly mentors are desperately needed to safely navigate this world we live in today. Oh do they need that!!!!!.

(PS... if you're reading this and on the off chance, your son or daughter goes to our youth ministry- try to avoid assuming that whatever is true of your family was written by your student. There were 110 students who could have turned in cards and lots of their stories overlap. I share them here purely as a reminder of a the varying family situations and feelings represented in a simple weekend youth group meeting.)

1. My mom laughs like a stupid bird
2. I’ve never met my dad.
3. My dad is Australian
4. My sisters and I fight a lot…so when we’re not fighting we feel funny
5. My mom and sister disowned our family. They don’t love me
6. My mom doesn’t believe in God
7. I wished my mom would have died
8. My mom thinks I’m fat
9. My parents are divorced
10. My family fights every Sunday morning on the way to church
11. My mom cheated on my dad
12. My grandma races in NASCAR
13. My brother is my best friend
14. My cousin is in jail for running down the street nude
15. I try to like my brother but lately I just don’t
16. My family is inter-racial
17. I feel like my dad needs to try to parent more
18. My uncle is a pimp/drug dealer/bartender in Costa Rica
19. Both of my parents are illegal immigrants
20. My cousins are prettier than me and my grandma isn’t afraid to tell me
21. (sad face) ☹
22. My mom collects Santas. She has 100s. Its one of the few things I claim as inheritance.
23. My cousin, aunt, and grandma all got pregnant at 17
24. My brother and I don’t have a relationship--at all. I think he hates me.
25. I have 9 brother and sisters
26. My family plays an intense game of spoons every Christmas
27. My mom lives with the pain of a disease
28. My mom always yells so I never know when she is mad or happy
29. My family is very quiet
30. (drew a family picture) Dad (Satan horns), Mom (Satan horns), Me (angel halo), brother (Satan horns)
31. My sister puts me down. Everyday.
32. My sister calls me a mistake.
33. My mom is one of my best friends
34. My grandma writes death threats to the president at least once a week
35. My parents are divorced but best friends
36. There’s 8 people living in my 2 bedroom, 1 loft condo.
37. My best friends have become my family
38. I am best friends with my brother
39. My aunt gets extremely drunk at every family reunion
40. My parents are OLD
41. My grandparents are racist
42. My grandma died when I was 4 and my dad never told me
43. My stepmom thinks she is psychic
44. My aunts think that they are actual, real angels
45. My dad has been in prison since the day I was born
46. My sisters raised me
47. My dad’s a redneck and likes to go bow-hunting for deer
48. My grandpa is a drunk. I haven’t heard from him in a while.
49. My dad speaks in outline format
50. My mom sings really ugly songs all the time
51. I used to not like my mom, but now we’re really close
52. My family is big on talking while the TV is on. I’m the only one who HATES it.
53. My parents can’t stand each other most of the time
54. My dad trusts no one. He thinks my friends steal from us.
55. We eat dinner at the TV
56. My dad is a pastor and my uncle grows marijuana
57. My parents broke up before I was born
58. My family is always on a computer
59. We can’t sing at the dinner table…but we can base on each other
60. I love my family because we all get along
61. My dad and I get in fights everyday
62. My mom and I both snort when we laugh
63. My sister is a recovering alcoholic and drug user
64. My brother enjoys farting on people
65. My cousin is in a psych ward in Chicago
66. The only reason my brother and I get along is because he cooks for me.

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IT AIN'T THE BRADY BUNCH

We're in a new series in our high school ministry called, "It Ain't the Brady Bunch" and it's all about family. Here's the series breakdown of the 4 week series:

1. It Ain't the Brady Bunch.... but it is my family.
2. It Ain't the Brady Bunch... but they are my parents.
3. It Ain't the Brady Bunch.... but these are my wounds.
4. It Ain't the Brady Bunch.... but I can shape my future.

We decided it'd be fun to play our version of the Family Feud on week one. So, we made each table into it's own family and did some "survey says" contests. You know, where they survey 100 people and then list the top "x" number on the board. Well, I didn't feel like looking around for the top 100 lists on the internet, so I just poled my kids instead. I asked them each to come up with 3 answers and it then became, guess the top 9 things the Berry Boys said.

My favorite category was "Name Stuff Mom Needs."

Here's the list. They make me laugh.

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MOURNING AND REJOICING

Romans 12 calls us to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. This fire thing we went through in San Diego county as brought fresh perspective to that verse in my life in recent days.

Here's a church family in Rancho Bernardo or RB that was damaged by the fire. You may want to follow their blog in the coming days to know how to pray and maybe even how to help some fellow followers of Jesus who got their world turned upside down recently.

If there ever was a time in Southern California where people are looking for help and seeking find the hands of Jesus in true community... today is that day.

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I HOPE THIS IS A SIGN FROM GOD

Driving out of my neighborhood about an hour ago, it started to sprinkle and then God gave us a rainbow. There's thousands of people in San Diego County that need a rainbow of hope today. I'm praying it comes from God and through God's people. On Sunday I'm going to join my high school students as we commission ourselves to do just that.

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PRAYER OR SOMETHING.....

Only once in my life has anyone ever confronted me on my prayer life.

No, not like if I pray or when do I pray, but actually on how I pray. It came from Ron Ritchie, a trusted 70 year old mentor. I was 32ish when he looked me in the eye over lunch and in a way only a man who looks like Moses/Grizzly Adams could have said, "Brian, you use God's name like a comma when you pray. God I pray that (comma God) you would help me do blah blah blah (comma God).... " I think it was the first time in my life I'd actually truly thought about how I spoke to God and what words I chose.

He also introduced me for the first time to the PRAYER TOAST. We did it every night after bible study with Ron and our clan of disciples over dinner for a year of Tuesday's. I use it all the time in restaurants now. Rather than bowing your head and wondering if you're going to get the prayer done before the waiter returns to interrupt you awkwardly, you just ditch the head bowed deal, grab your beverage, raise it to the sky, and thank Jesus for the fellowship, the food you're about to eat, the amazing chance to enjoy breath in your lungs, and invite God's presence to be at the table with you. It's really refreshing. You should try it sometime. Inviting God to join your table and thanking him for the blessings of food and friends is always sincere and very rare today.

Well anyway, ever since that year of prayer challenges by Ron, I've been particularly sensitive to my own prayers and annoyed by some of the traditional habits of the church today in prayer. A couple of things that have happened this week made me think of it, so I decided to blog them. Here you go, here's my list:

• THE ANNOUNCEMENT PRAYER: This is not really a prayer at all. It's not really talking to God, it's just talking to people while they are in the hypnotic state of eyes closed and heads bowed. It often involves transition hints like, "as the band comes up" or reminders like, "we know that this week is the big blah blah blah".

• THE HOUDINI PRAYER: This may or may not be sincere prayer, but it is strategically placed so that we magically whip people on and off stage while your eyes are closed. While you're supposedly talking to God, the band can magically disappear and the speaker appear or visa versa- as if the angel of the Lord himself whisked them off the stage like Houdini.

• THE NO ONE'S LOOKING PRAYER: This is the prayer where we begin by talking to God, then pause to talk to you, asking no one to look around, cuz evidently that screws up the sincerity of someone really talking to God. Now, while "no one's looking, please raise your hand or look at me or whatever..." cuz now we're pausing in prayer to talk to you all.

• THE GOD IS A COMMA/MUST LOVE TO HEAR HIS OWN NAME PRAYER: This prayer is one I was very good at and have tried to ditch. It's the prayer that uses God more times in one sentence than is humanly possible. It is common, but evidently only something we do in prayer. Can you imagine saying to me at dinner, "Dear Brian, thanks so much Brian for having us over for dinner Brian. I just love you Brian. Brian you have blessed us so much Brian that we wanted to tell you Brian that we are here to serve you Brian with our whole lives Brian. Amen Brian. Amen." Yeah, it sounds stupid, but if you insert God in there for me, well, you have the classic comma/name prayer.

• THE END THE MEETING PRAYER: This prayer is just a prayer we do cuz the meeting is over and evidently, no two Christians are allowed to talk and then leave without praying to sorta close the book on this deal. Most of the world just says, see you later. Christians feel the need to make sure God knows we're done talking now.

• THE IN CASE GOD WASN'T LISTENING PRAYER: This is where we go around the room and have everyone share prayer requests. Then, after we have talked to one another for a while about them, we then repeat exactly what we've all been talking about but now, we do it with sentences that begin with "Dear God" and end with "Amen" since evidently when we were saying them before, we were talking to ourselves and God was busy somewhere else.

• THE GOSSIP PRAYER: This is a classic one. This often never makes it to prayer. But under the umbrella of protection of a prayer request, we gossip about others so that the person who is receiving the juicy facts can take them back and pray about them.

• THE SUPER SPIRITUAL PRAYER: This one is where the person praying uses words that only God can understand and that are only used when praying. It's often with hands held up, sounds really super theological, and usually gets them asked to pray a lot, cuz it sounds like something God himself might say in 1850.

• THE IT'S TIME TO SHUT UP PRAYER: This prayer is not really prayer. It's just a reality that the one at the mic is being ignored, so instead of waiting for the crowd to get quiet, they just start praying and inevitably, a shhh and side slap hitting fest goes across the audience that tells people to shut up, somebody up front is pretending to pray so you all will stop talking.

ok... I could go on... but it's getting depressing since I've been guilty of almost all of these a time or two.

I think I'm going to stop blogging and go pray. I surely need it.

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