PARENTING AND POOP

TJ: Yelling through the bathroom door- "What happened to the toilet paper?"

Me: On the couch in the next room yelling back- "Why, are you trying to back one out?"

TJ: Still yelling through the bathroom door- "Yep, I'm droppin some dirt".

Mom: (looks at me with accusing eyes that I have taught him too many creative ways to say, "I have to poop" which are now flowing freely out of our soon to be 8 year old sons vocabulary.)

Me: Shrugs shoulders, smiles innocently, and says, "That's my boy" ... to which I went to go aid a brother in distress and fetch another roll.

NOTE: no need to reply with your infinite list of ways to say this. This will only get me in trouble with my lovely wife- I'm probably already "busted" as my youngest Jake would say, for posting this funny story anyway. Trust me, I can rattle off like 20 more creative gestures for needing to "go number two" without pausing to breathe. My experience says this is true for just about any other male who ever played sports, went to camp, sat around bored with his friends, shared an apartment with 7 guys during college, joined a fraternity... or any number of other reasons that I too can. :)

MORE NOTES:
1. Not wanting to wake someone up who is sleeping is not a good reason not to flush- especially after the above. Flushing is always mandatory. I think I'm going to decree this as the King of the house from a perch a top our stairs soon.
2. As King.... I also decree that not replacing a tp role when you use up the last of it or not replacing a toilet paper roll to the "extra toilet paper" section of the bathroom after you use that one to replace an existing empty one should be grounds for requiring you to use an outhouse in the vacant lot next door for life.
3. My children are learning to read while on the can. I cannot support any policy that keeps my children on the porcelain for extended periods. I never want to remain in there for long. I can't imagine wanting to stay long enough to read a book.
4. Air fresheners are not fooling anyone. Your stuff still stinks and now the potpouri smells foul too.
5. Fans are good. Windows are better. Remember this when you design a house without windows in your bathrooms.
6. If you can say, "Daddy, I have poopy in my pants"- then you're old enough to not poop in your pants. Someone please tell Jake. He seems to think to himself- "If I don't poop in my pants then I'll get candy. But that will mean I have to go to the potty and ask for help. Then I'll have to stop playing. If I poop in my pants I can keep playing and loose the candy. Play? Candy? Play? Candy? Play wins..... ". The candy thing ain't workin.
7. I have a friend who went to Russia and brought be back a roll of toilet paper because it is such a rare commodity there. This is wrong on many levels.
8. Parenting so far as I can tell is entirely too much about ensuring people poop.

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OGN IN ME

Last week I spent 7 days in Point Loma, Califonia on the coast enjoying the beauty of the ocean and developing new and old friendships. I was there for a student camp/conference called "Operation Good News (OGN)". I spent the morning going to classes with high school students about how to understand, defend, and share their faith in Jesus Christ as well as what other world views believe. We then spent the afternoons in guy/gal pairs going to the malls and beaches around San Diego County and engaging people in spiritual conversations. Here's my revelations from the week.

1. SKEPTICAL AM I- GOOD THING GOD IS NOT BOUND BY MY SKEPTICISM.
I was asked to take a group of students to go to the mall and share their faith with strangers on day 1. This seems like a chief way to make people hate Jesus. One step shy of cold calling them in their homes and interrupting dinner with a survey as if Jesus were something you sell lost souls when they've expressed no interest and have no relationship with you. At the mall people are trying to buy something and now we are going to mob them with teams of two teens who are going to ask them about Jesus when the mall would rather they not be there anyway. Needless to say... I was skeptical and as a "pastor" I didn't feel like I could sit in rebellion in my car just cuz I didn't feel like doing this. So, I prayed and went- not in, but around the mall.

I was there for all of 3 minutes when the first conversation I had was with a 19 year old guy on a bike. It was a really cool low rider bike he had obviously invested time and money in- it was all silver and made me want it. I said, "cool bike". Cool bike led to this; which led to that; which led to more of this; which led to me finding out he and his girlfriend (who was on her own less exciting bike) met in a homeless shelter when their families were in tough times a year or so ago. Tough times talks led to wanna have lunch with me? Lunch led to Rubios and the best $20 I've spent in a long time. That led to an hour and a half conversation with two really cool teens who rarely have adult influences in their lives which led to two phone number exchanges which may (I pray) lead to a friendship and joining us on the beach on Monday.

I guess God works in the mall too. I guess my comfort zone and skeptical mind has God in a box. I won't be picking up a bull horn or painting some verse about sin on the side of my truck anytime soon, but I will be opening my eyes more. I also vow to not let the billboard "Christian" guy who condemns people and screams at them to repent to keep me from sharing the truth in love. I think I miss a lot of spiritual needs because I reduce the mall to a place of material exchange and forget it only works cuz people with eternal souls go there daily. I need spiritual eyes. I wonder how many conversations I've missed with God in people's lives because I let buying groceries be about getting out of line fast and never even said, "Hi so and so.... "(whose name is always on their shirt.) I'm going to try and do better.


2. PEOPLE IN MASS = MASS CONFUSION.
On the 4th of July I spent the day with 750,000 people on the beaches of San Diego. What an experience. 1.7 million people come to SD over that holiday weekend and I for one, had never been in a more party going or people packed scene in all my life. There are countless reasons why people are there. Some are there to celebrate freedom and are freshly thinking of lost loved ones in wars (both current and distant) that define our country and culture. Some are there to capitalize on the crowds and make a big financial boost. (Parking is so limited I saw apartment owners selling their space for $100 a day. Ralphs in downtown Ocean Beach sells spaces for $25 an hour. Rentals sell for $3000 a week on the beach). Some are there to check out and maybe get lucky with the nearly naked populace. (You'll just have to trust me on this one) A couple hundred twenty somethings are there to attend an invitation only $21,000 party held in a recently sold 3.7 million dollar Condo on the beach front home I saw. Some are there to play Frisbee with their family and enjoy the sun. Some are there to get drunk. ( I spoke with one guy at 2pm who said he had 7 beers and two shots of tequila in him already. He was standing next to a shade tent that had an inflatable kiddy pool filled with ice and no less than 400 beers in it for a party on the beach). Some were there to see the fireworks. Some are there in teams to speak with people about Jesus and his hope for their lives. Some were there to celebrate their honeymoon. You name it, people were there for any of a million reasons people find purpose and pleasure in this life. Here's how Jesus viewed the crowed per the Message paraphrase of the Bible: "When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd." (Mat 9:36) I tried hard that day to see the crowd as Jesus does. Some lost and distant from God. Some found by God. All are loved by their creator.

I had some great conversations that day with Tony and Oliver- two guys I met at the beach who had gone quite simply to enjoy some beers and people watch (the chicks, the old friends, the cops arrest people who don't know they can't walk on the boardwalk with an open alcohol container and get a $340 ticket due to their ignorance, etc) Tony wants to retire by 30. Both Oliver and Tony have had their experience with the church and have subsequently left. I don't know whether God sees them as lost- for only he knows the condition of their souls, but they see themselves as pursuing God on their own terms. It was a sweet conversation.

It too reminded me that in the midst of the crowd of life, it's easy to get distracted by the worries of this world or cast judgement based on externals. I want to live for the things that matter. I want to see the crowd as Jesus does. I want to live a life that is not distracted by the junk.


3. I STILL NEED TO WORK ON THE SHUT UP PRINCIPLE.
I said some things this week I had to go back and apologize for or clarify. Mostly it's cuz I still have not mastered this principle in James 1. "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." So case and point, someone does or says something. It makes me annoyed or "angry". I mull it around in my head. Then given the opportunity- my big mouth spits out what was formerly trapped in my mind and my slow to speak is not so slow and I become quick to try and gather my words back. I would be better off to practice the principle of listen longer, speak less, give God my anger. Ahhh, the joy of being a work in progress. This piece of clay has a lot of shaping left to be done by the master.

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RIVALRY REFLECTIONS

This last week I spoke at a camp for about 300 high school students in Northern California on the subject of the spiritual warfare titled "Rivalry- the fight for our lives." It was an awesome experience. It was life changing for myself as well as many new and old friends. Here's some of my Rivalry Reflections as I look back on the past 10 days.

POWER STRUGGLE: this week was an electric purgatory. My computer power cord died, my printer died, two DVD players died, and on Wednesday night someone crashed on the road to the camp and took out the power to the entire retreat center. Evidently my electronic world was possessed by the demon of voltage nightmares. Personally, it was a fight to stay focused on the spiritual aspects of the Rivalry and not this material world that jacks with me. Every time though, God answered with meeting the need. He provided new DVD players, a new power cord, my parents "happened to have" a brand new printer in the box just waiting for me to take the very day we left, and the emergency generators for the camp provided all the power we needed to run chapel without a glitch. Through all this, as I wondered and feared and got distracted by the unwanted and unexpected- I was reminded how dependent I can be on juice to power the stuff I use for ministry and yet how the real power is not in the stuff of "wires" at all. I need to keep my dependence in the right place and on the right person. It's easy to get tangled up in the cords of worry and the stuff of this world. Jesus never prayed for electricity to light a room or for a computer not to crash. How trivial and stupid this stuff can be and how easy it is for it to creep it's sorry electronic self into the focus of my life. Even as I write this Blog, I'm reminded that technology can be used for God or as a distraction from Him. I pray it's the former for me. That is a daily fight however. The Rivalry between physical and spiritual stuff is real for me.

AUDIENCE: I spent a lot of time trying to silence the voice of the enemy in my life this week. He kept trying to get my eyes off God and onto men and women. Worry about pleasing people he would say, "for if they don't like you, God isn't using you." I quoted Galatians 1:10 to myself about a thousand times this week. Tuesday night before I taught I spent over an hour in my room telling thoughts of inadequacy to flee and through tears reminded my heart that pleasing God- not men was my goal. I really struggle to keep my focus on God, no matter what others say or think about me. I want to live for an Audience of One- but that's easier said than done. The Rivalry between pleasing God and pleasing people is real for me still.

MORNINGS: I was struck this week by how God spoke to me in the mornings. I got up every morning at between 4:30 and 5 A.M. to re-look over that day's messages. I'm not a early morning riser normally. Late nights-yes. Early mornings- not so much. Plus, I was up past midnight every night- which meant that I was running on 4ish hours of sleep. But, every morning- the routine was the same. Hit the alarm. Jump in the shower. Grab a cup of coffee, a blanket, and my G4 laptop and head for the porch of our cabin to sit in the brisk pre-dawn air and listen to the quiet flow of small stream just 15 feet away while I prayed over and tweaked and re-wrote the messages for the day. I was surprised by how much I liked starting my day so early and so specifically thinking about God. After camp I went away with my wife to Pelican Bay in Watsonville for a night and a day away to celebrate our 11 year anniversary. While there and taking in the awesome view of the ocean and the sound of waves crashing on the quiet sea shore, I began reading "Life Together" by Bonhoeffer. The second chapter is all about how God has throughout history in the Bible and in the present day spoken to people who exercised the discipline of seeking God in the morning. I've normally bucked that statement as mere traditions of men cuz God is not bound to a clock. But, it kinda proved true and enjoyable for me this week. So, here goes, I'm going to try and rise early (maybe not 4 AM :) ) and discipline my body to get up with the sunrise. Now I guess I need to also discipline myself to go to bed earlier. Notice this post is long past midnight. Guess I have my work cut out for me- that's the Rivalry of personal disciplines.

RETHINKING: It was great to see 12 students rethinking life as they know it and deciding to stop running from God and begin running to him. 12 students committed their lives to Jesus Christ and got on God's side of this spiritual rivalry for the first time. Literally hundreds of others made significant life change decisions this week in how they are going to rethink living for Jesus and stop letting Satan have his way with them. I was blessed by seeing and hearing their boldness as they shared their desire to quit drugs, break off bad dating relationships, forgive Dads, and stop hiding in shame they felt due to sin in their lives- and so much more. In the process, I was reminded too that God calls each of us, myself included, to rethink the way I'm living daily- not just at camps and retreats. I think it's a moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour commitment to not confuse what "is" with what "could and should" be. I want to live a life of change. I pray that this week has changed me. I know it has. I also hope it's but one small adjustment in what is sure to be a life of changes as God molds me into the man he desires me to be. Through several significant conversations this week I also drove the stake down deeper into the soil of my heart and soul that I don't want to be a "legalistic list maker". I don't want to be so sure of so much that I start making stuff that is circumstantial and temporary into something more black and white than it is. When the Bible makes something black and white- I intend to keep it that clear. I don't want to be wishy washy when God is not. I also don't want to be dogmatic when God has left room for the Holy Spirit to speak to individuals differently. When it's grey, I want to keep rethinkin' and rethinkin' what that looks like today and how I can love and live with people whose convictions lie in a different shade of grey than my own. So goes the Rivalry over my mind.

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TWO FIRSTS IN TWO DAYS

Bocce ball on Sunday. Surfing on Monday. Two firsts in two days.

BOCCE BALL: Sounds Italian. Have no idea if it is. It is like shot put and bowling and horse shoes and billiards all rolled into one. This is a game that requires so little effort and athletic ability that you can play it while holding a beverage in one hand the entire game. In fact, I'm pretty sure alcohol was involved during it's invention. Anyway, after our church did it's quarterly baptisms in mission bay with a BBQ and stuff, then I was invited to partake of bocce ball with Marko and John. Josh and I came from a 7 point deficit to get beat by one. 9-10 was the final score. But on the whole, I'd have to say that my first day proved I'm a natural 7 in bocce ball. I could be a 10 given more practice. I might need to buy a set.

SURFING: Sounds fun. Not sure it is yet. But, I now live in "so cal" and my youth group goes to the beach pretty much weekly if not daily- so I figured I should try it. It is like jumping on a floating ironing board while paddling like a fish to avoid an 18 wheeler coming at you with the goal of being pushed gracefully down the freeway of water that will eventually crash into the sand. I get the paddle part. I get the float part. It's the one, two, three stand up before you get dumped off part I'm not so good at. Rarely, if ever in my life, do I find myself lying flat on my stomach and for any reason, immediately jumping to my feet to land in a shoulder width spread in one fluid motion. I take that back... I never do that. Never. Consequently- day one was like watching a toddler try and stand up, most of the time falling flat on their face. Oh, by the way- it is possible to "surf" in like a foot of water. So, when you fall off and stick your hand down- you hit the bottom really hard, really fast. It hurts. I think I need a prosthetic hand now. On the surf scale- I'm officially a 2. At this rate, I might be a 5 in 5 years. So, I now own a wet suit and a very sore arm. I borrowed the board. Not sure I'll be buying one anytime soon.

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THE HARD WAY

I've come to the conclusion that there are only two ways to learn things in life. #1. The hard way. #2. From someone who learned it the hard way.

Tonight I came home from Bible Study to find my house slightly white. Not really- white- but 20 minutes clean up of white none-the-less. It was clearly a girls Bible Study that was responsible. I found them at church having a last study of the year party and all mysteriously dressed in black at church. I didn't think much of it when they all left in cars around 9pm while I cleaned up my Bible Study- but when I got home it took me 2 seconds to put it together. Many of them are the same group that did this to mi casa the first month I was here.

I responded to that attack on my abode politely and assumed ignorance on their part. I nicely informed them this was not a bright move on their part with a powerpoint presentation during the high school weekend services of things that had happened to others before them who tried such endeavors: duct taped to trees, cars in crates, personally covered in kitchen slop, cars on jack stands at school, dead fish under a girls bed.... etc. I thought they got the picture when like 2 months later a girl in the group stopped me to ask out of the blue, "Did you really put a dead fish under a girls bed?" I said, "yes". She said she would learn from that girls mistake.

Evidently not all do- some girls just want to learn the hard way. I now have a trash back full of white stuff, two leaders, and several key students to make examples of... not today... but someday soon- the white stuff shall be served. I once was told by a wise man this great motto to live by: "Don't get mad. Don't get even. Just get one or two up." Tis the season to learn stuff the hard way I guess.

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NUMERO UNO

Keeping numero uno numero uno is a lot of work. It doesn't come naturally to me. What comes naturally is procrastination, distraction, and stuff that interests me at the moment. God clearly says in the very first of the 10 commandments through Moses and again through Jesus in the greatest commandment - perhaps the most fundamental of all Christian responsibilities: "Love God first." I wish that was simple. I'm sure it is. But somehow- it rarely is for me.

Here's how it plays out in my life:

WITH MY KIDS: Last Thursday a friend asked me if I wanted to take my kid to the baseball game on Friday night. The padre stadium has this little baseball diamond behind the ball park but still actually in the stadium gates where you can play baseball all game with your kid while seeing the game on a giant screen or watching part of it live from this grassy knoll. Problem is: I am supposed to be at church on Friday nights because I need to participate in the service and I lead a service elsewhere on campus for high school students during both Sunday hours. I enjoy going Friday- but I was faced with a dilemma: "A"- worship God in the church with music, my Bible, and a pencil. OR "B"- worship God with my kid, a hot dog, ice cream, and baseball. In the end, I chose B. My son Tyler has not stopped bragging about it since. Honestly, I had no time to be there, was supposed to be at church and had- lots to do for "Sunday" and the baseball game lasted 3x longer than the "friday service". In the end- I'm not sure "church" was the center of my worship experience that weekend. Tyler shared with me more about faith and numero uno than anything I did all weekend in his smile, hugs, and endless games of catch.

WITH PLANTS: I ended up planting our yard on Saturday instead of working on Sunday stuff- which I should have been doing because I was gone all week, went to a baseball game with Tyler, and was behind on prep work. In the end, the decision to spend the day planting flowers with my mother in law cost me hours of sleep. But the joy it brought my wife and her mom to see it done and enjoy our back yard over breakfast coffee reminded me again that sometimes- sleep is over rated and worship has many forms.

WITH SUNDAY: I ended up preparing for Sunday most of the night and morning and getting there on little to no sleep. I prayed that God would use me in spite of myself. He answered by steering the High School group in such a way that we never actually got to my message on Sunday. We ended up hearing the voice of God through the experience, regrets, and wisdom of graduating seniors. So many students liked what they saw and heard and were blessed and told me so that I had to stop and laugh at myself... Numero Uno doesn't need me.

WITH MY FRIENDS: Yesterday I had a friend in a tough time that needed to talk. I had minus 4 hours to talk. I was so far in the hole from my weekend of baseball and planting and meetings and such and had a paper due that night in seminary that the last thing I had time to do was comfort anyone but my own mounting pile of paper work. Anyway- I ended up talking with two friends for the better part of 2 hours yesterday. Later that night I went up to my professor and started to ask how I turn in a late paper... and before I could finish my sentence- he said, "Lots of people are in your shoes. I decided to give a short extension." I walked back to my seat believing and reminding myself- that sometimes- keeping numero uno numero uno isn't as difficult as I make it out to be. Sometimes God does it for me.

I wish I did this more often. I want to simply love God first. In the end- when I do- the joy is worth it. Now if I could just go do that daily and get so good at it- it's a reflex- that would be cool.... so here I go- off to worship my God with baseball, plants, and friendships- among other not so complicated acts of worship.

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